This week on Insanity Gone Viral™️: Mehdi Hasan debating 20 further-than-far-right goons on Jubilee's Surrounded. It’s a framework that answers the question “What if intellectual debate was more like gangb@ng p0rn?” Basically, the producers pit a pundit against morons who take turns proving the failures of the American educational system.
Even Hasan hated it, saying, “Free speech doesn’t mean you need to give credibility or oxygen or a platform to people who don’t agree in human equality.” But surely he knew what he was getting into. After all, these things are made to generate hate.
Btw, this particular batch of Surrounders seemed especially, um, amped up. Like, does no one know how to spot someone on drugs anymore? Are we just all on pills so much now that behaving like the coked up brat at the afters who keeps pontificating about politics is the new normal?
Because tell me this guy ain’t on something…
There’s zero insight to be gained from this claptrap. It’s just the argumentation version of "Who can pull an airplane further: One elephant or 50 little people?"…
…mixed with the “everyone waits their turn to get pummeled” fight scenes of a Bruce Lee flick.
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Plus, most of the contestants (is that what we should call ‘em?) seem like they’re auditioning to be the next Kyle Rittenhouse. One guy even showed up like he was hoping to get cast as an extra in either V for Vendetta or The Watchmen…
But I guess it all “works” since a bunch of folks rage tweet about it leading to views which means attention economy success (i.e. monetization) for Jubilee. The most appropriate thing about it all is how all the back line contestants are constantly holding up red flags throughout the damn thing. Yup, couldn’t agree more.
Comedy
🃏 I tell some fun jokes about dating in my latest YouTube vid:
Franken(Ep)stein
Why is 47 so tone deaf on all this Epstein stuff?
Theory: It’s because he’s no longer doing all those rallies. That’s when he picks up on what the masses are feeling, what to let go, and what to double down on. Without them, he’s losing the pulse. He’s like a comedian who ain’t getting stage time – and it shows.
Because when it comes to Epstein, he’s definitely not getting it. Might have something to do with the fact they were pals…
When Donny Met Jeffrey: “You go dancing, you do the white man's overbite, you go back to her place..." 😬
He can’t just snap his tongue and make this one go away though. It’s all too good for his base of 4chan fiends: True crime + save the children + “it was the Jews” = internet magic!
Give credit to Q@non, the greatest video game ever designed. Follow a trail of clues and solve the mystery and you’ll rescue the suffering children. It’s so hooky a quarter of Republicans wound up believing it. And that’s why their Epstein obsession ain’t going anywhere. Live by the swQrd, die by the swQrd.
Basically, the “deep state” is “mercury in retrograde” for bros…
True crime + save the children + “it was the Jews” = internet magic!
Still, the administration keeps trying to shut it down…
…which just angers the conspiracy theorists even more. Even some of his podcast bros are turning on him: “I can’t believe the con man lied to ME.”
Zooming out, there’s a baked-in problem for anyone in charge now: The online money/clicks/Likes are in being anti-establishment. So there’s a healthy incentive for the hecklers to keep switching it up and oppose whoever is in charge. Since we all have ADHD now, there's no price to pay for perennial pivoting. Hate "the deep state" and you never stop monetizing.
Sill, the way this crew views the “elites” is rather confusing. Somehow, the deep state is both incredibly incompetent yet it also has operated a secret sex trafficking ring for decades. Um, which is it: inefficient dolts or Machiavellian masterminds?
Also: They desire the truth about Epstein yet despise the mainstream media…but who do they think broke the Epstein story? Oh yeah, it was a journalist for a newspaper and not an opinion spewing podcast host. Funny how that works.
Btw, you know who's totally still alive? Ghislaine Maxwell, Les Wexner, and most of the victims. Instead of chasing phantoms and flight logs, why don't we, like, y'know, ask them? Or do we crave the mystery more than the solution?
Quickies
🎯 "Moving you to BCC" is the closest nerds have to a baller move.
🎯 I’m now assuming Icarus’ wings were manufactured by Boeing.
🎯 The more a place hates abortion, the better the BBQ. If people hate killing babies, they love pulling pork. And if weed is illegal there too, get the brisket. They’re gonna be smoking something out back.
🎯 The amount that our entire culture is now based on insanely short attention spans is– well, you get it.
🎯 I like the phrase "the sane middle" 'cuz if you oppose it, you sound crazy.
🎯 Colbert has 200 employees and the Ed Sullivan Theater. Rogan has Jamie and a room in the back…and gets way more viewers. Gotta feel like that’s a lesson here. Anyway, is there some way we can blame all this late night drama on Jay Leno?
🎯 Those 3am Texas flood alerts are really killing my “no phones in the bedroom” argument.
🎯 The algorithm used to be an older sibling saying, “Listen to this.”
🎯 "Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it." Sure, OK. But the problem with history is they keep making more of it before we’ve even processed the last batch. We're like Lucy at the candy factory doing our best to keep up...
🎯 It's time for repression to make a comeback. For the sake of society, bury your trauma and let it manifest as back pain a decade later. It's the kindest thing you can do.
🎯 We face attempted scams constantly nowadays. When I was growing up, you only had to deal with grifters if you 1) bet on pool, 2) answered your landline during dinnertime, or 3) lived in a small town and a guy showed up with a wagon full of tinctures.
🎯 Social media is the best way to monetize mental illness.
🎯 America vs. Israel: At least in the US, the religious zealots send their own sons to serve in the military. In Israel, they’re exempt. It takes some real chutzpah to insist on war yet claim your kids are too busy praying to fight it.
🎯 Politics now is the blue hairs vs. the red hats.
🎯 Bill Ackman got to play in a professional tennis tournament!? See how VCs can buy their way into being “athletes” even though they’re not? Well, same thing with being “intellectuals.”
🎯 We all know 18 year olds don't have fully developed frontal cortexes. So it's pretty crazy that's the age when we make them sign up for $300K+ in student loans. Talk about predatorial.
🎯 Someone needs to tell incels why motorcycles, poetry, and musical instruments were invented.
🎯 We need to bring back "no homo" as a phrase. It helped bros get in touch with their femme side. We’d all be doing better if they could do yoga, go dancing together, or put sunscreen on each other’s backs without worrying it’s a tell.
🎯 As a phrase, “ethical non-monogamy” sounds very boomer-ish. We need to get younger with the lingo – let’s call it either "based rizz" or "morally sus."
🎯 For dogs, sniffing the 💦 on a fire hydrant is their version of social media. “Oh, so it’s going like that for you. Slay queen!”
🎯 I’m constantly receiving "rate our service" requests which make me feel like Mitch Hedberg getting a donut: I don't need to rate my stay at your hotel. I'll just give you the money and you give me the room. End of transaction. We don't need to bring emails and stars into this.
🎯 I wish real life conversations came with a Stop2End option.
We did it! Thanks for reading.
-Matt
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