Deserve's got nothing to do with it
On Substack Notes, Twitter's Main Character, Dunbar’s number, the value of surprise, and the search for mindful conversations online.
Twitter's Main Characters of the day:
Welcome to the rage spotlight, Silicon Valley ‘pronatalists’ who wear those glasses made for architects. Let the dunking commence!
Not to be a buzzkill, but if you posted about this, you are the problem. This is just trolling disguised as "news." Like all those outrageous NY Post hit job pieces, you're supposed to go, "Gross! Ima dunk on these jerks on social media." Result: Click$$$ rolls in for that publication – and then we get more and more hateworthy people clogging our feeds. And we keep falling for it because, man, moral superiority feels so damn good.
Word
The whole cycle is just one more reason to be glad Twitter is nosediving. I’m excited to get Elon and his unfunny jokes off my radar. (Also, I hate those stupid Tesla door handles. I shouldn’t need to someone to teach me how to open a door.)
However, the sad thing about the demise of Bluebirdland is it’s one of the last bastions of the written word. And we need words. Notice how the dummies in the "do your research" crowd invariably mean watching (YouTube/TikTok/etc.) or listening (podcasts) instead of reading. Call me crazy, but I like experts who, y’know, have read a book.
In Amusing Ourselves to Death, Neil Postman discusses how writing leads to ideas and facts in a way other forms of communication don’t:
Almost all of the characteristics we associate with mature discourse were amplified by typography, which has the strongest possible bias toward exposition: a sophisticated ability to think conceptually, deductively and sequentially; a high valuation of reason and order; an abhorrence of contradiction; a large capacity for detachment and objectivity; and a tolerance for delayed response.
But you already get that because, well, you’re reading this. It’s a big reason why I’m thankful for Substack, a place where people who still care about words can have thoughtful conversations.
Surprise!
For example, notemaster
recently talked to and and discussed “how two of Substack's funniest writers take notes.” Hess writes:This is where improv lessons come in. There’s always something interesting happening. You just have to let it happen without forcing a narrative on it. Alex jumps in, explaining:
the scene’s already there, like we just have to walk in and, like, let it happen to us … you don't have to do anything….Just being open to whatever is gonna come. That's where the good stuff comes as opposed to when I'm like, I gotta find something funny.
I found this advice useful for thinking about the kind of writing I do. I’ve struggled to write about notes when I’m trying to fit them into a narrative. It’s always so much easier when I’m open to whatever narrative the notes already contain.
Knowing Hess comes from an academic background, I commented on this bit: "Writing is so much easier when I’m open to whatever story arises organically."
This is tapping into something about academic vs. creative writing too. School teaches you to write starting with a thesis and to aim everything in that direction. But good art/comedy/writing is often about surprise and realizing you actually wound up somewhere completely different than where you originally intended.
Then Dobrenko jumped in:
This is so right. I know it intellectually and sometimes find it in practice, but still I so often catch myself saying "wait but this isn't what I am supposed to write about" as I venture down a new and way more interesting path. and its like, there's nothing you are *supposed to* write about dude this is just ur lil life write what you want
My reply riffed off "There's nothing you are *supposed to* write about.":
Reminds me of a line from Unforgiven I think about frequently: "Deserve's got nothing to do with it."
To me this whole notion is actually a love letter to surprise. Surprise is what gets laughs. Surprise is what makes people gasp. Surprise is what makes people go, "Aha!" Surprise is at the heart of great art.
And the best way to deliver surprise to your audience is to surprise yourself. That means abandoning the plan and letting your brain get out over your skis every once in a while. A lotta crap will ensue, but also: The gems you find will shine like a disco ball.
Dobrenko:
💯 Surprise is great too because you can't really go looking for it. if you look, it won't be there. its some zen koan sh*t
What a fun exchange. This kinda conversation is why I dig the Substack ecosystem so much.
Noteworthy development
Speaking of, the latest development there: Substack Notes. It’s basically Substack’s Twitter knockoff, but despite the UI similarities (“it’s not a Retweet, it’s a Restack!”), it feels wildly different so far.
Here’s why:
It’s new. It’s only been around for a week so it’s not overrun with marketers, scammers, or dudes with 🚀 emojis in their bios.
The crowd is small. There’s no Tragedy of the Common People (yet). Mentioned this in a Note I posted (meta!)…
People aren’t anonymous. Most people there are real humans, typically ones who write Substack newsletters and thus are identified with a legit name. The lack of anonymous trolls is great, it’s the online equivalent of riding the subway at midnight and stepping into the one car without a crazy person in it.
People are smartish. Substack is filled with writers. Writers think and care about ideas. Thus, the conversations there are a level up from the Petty Hate Machine™️ that is Twitter.
It’s not reliant on advertising. Ad-supported business models lead to mind-capture crap. But Substack and its authors make money from paid subscribers, removing some of the worst incentives of the attention economy.
It’s not algorithm-based. The content you see comes just from people you actually subscribe to as opposed to whatever randomness the algorithm decides to show you. People choose what they want to see.
Blog redux
The overall vibe reminds me of how it felt in the 2000’s, when RSS ruled the roost and blogs were the big thing. (Back then, I wrote a bunch for Signal vs. Noise, the 37signals blog.) Comment threads were actually relatively pleasant then because everyone demonstrated commonality simply by showing up at the same place.
(Tangent: It cracks me up when old people rant about bloggers. Um, blogs don’t exist anymore. It’s like being really angry about station wagons or the Backstreet Boys.)
Massive social media platforms are all about “scale” which is good for their business model but bad for humanity. It’s foolish to think we’ll all gather in the same few places, alongside millions of others, and have mindful conversations. That’s not how group size works. See: Dunbar’s number.
The best conversations happen when you’ve got a smaller, likeminded group of people. That’s why the tone is so different on Facebook Groups, subreddit threads, or group chats centered around a common interest/person/thing. (Admittedly, bubble thinking can result from this approach, but it’s not like the huge platforms are doing great with that either.)
It feels like something we already learned. In the 20th century, the nation watched whatever was on the big three networks: ABC, CBS, or NBC. Then cable came along and gave us the specific content we craved (e.g. Comedy Central, Golf Channel, the Food Network, etc.). It’s weird that Big Tech tries to rewind that model by funneling us into the same massive channels (IG, TikTok, Twitter, and Facebook) instead of creating niche environments where people, y’know, actually like each other and the things they’re talking about. No wonder it all keeps going off the rails. Let people swim in a smaller pond, with likeminded fish, and we’re much more likely to get a healthy ecosystem that’s actually enjoyable.
Will the good vibes at Notes last? We’ll see. I fear the word will get out, awful people will show up, and then we’ll have to find a new social media platform that’s yet to be soiled. 🎶 May the circle be unbroken 🎶 Anyway, until then…
🗒 Check out my Substack Notes here.
NBA Playoffs
It’s NBA playoff time! I’m bracing myself for how many times over the next few weeks I'm going to have to hear Mark Jackson say, "It's a make or miss league."
Um, no duh.
The worst part is how he always prefaces it with "We say it all the time..." But why? Why do you say it all the time? A statement could't be less meaningful.
It’s like a tech analyst saying, “It’s a profit or loss business.” Or Esther Perel saying, “Relationships are either love or hate.” It’s not analysis, it’s speaking just to speak. At least when Bill Walton rambled on aimlessly, we could blame it on all that acid he did at Dead shows.
Related: Mama, who is that man and why does he keep leaving? Is he my father? Mama? Mama?
Quickies
🎯 In 10 years, no one will own an air fryer and we'll all look back and go "What were we thinking?" It'll be the rowing machine of the kitchen.
🎯 It's perfect that George Santos reps Long Island because he’s the Long Island Iced Tea of politics. Think about it: It’s a drink that’s not actually iced tea at all, just a bunch of crap thrown together – and that crap is WAY stronger than it needs to be.
🎯 How they names laws is crazy:
"I signed the Heartbeat Protection Act into law."
"Sounds great. It's about increased access to healthcare I presume?"
"No, it requires a woman to provide proof she was raped before she can get an abortion."
"Yikes. Feels like ya kinda buried the lede."
🎯 “Are you guys married?”
“No, but we run an Instagram account together”
“Oh! So it’s serious!”
🎯 I think DaBaby's name is hilarious.
🎯 Overwhelmed by the amount of "panels" and "conversations" I see related to psychedelics. So many people agreeing with each other instead of trying to convert those who aren't onboard yet. My advice: Stop preaching to the higher.
🎯 HQ2 update: Amazon paused construction on its massive build in Arlington, announced massive layoffs, and is about to collect its first round of taxpayer subsidies (hundreds of millions!) from Virginia. Yet another example of "Don't try to hustle a New Yorker" – we smell that sh*t coming.
🎯 Underrated: Having a job that's boring but where you're learning (especially when you're young).
🎯 Most online “community” is really just a form of parasociality. Strangers are made to feel like they are engaged in a genuine, intimate, and reciprocal relationship with someone who, in reality, couldn't care less about them.
Podcast
Check out my podcast Kind of a Lot with Matt Ruby (produced by Stereoactive Media). It’s like the Rubesletter but for your ears. The latest ep: Ep 13 // The worse the road, the better the destination.
Matt evangelizes on behalf of the power of ferries, sculpture gardens, shoulder season, and why agendas are for suckers as he offers up 10 travel secrets he’s learned from years of backpacking around the world, all while avoiding the most well-worn roads.
Comedy
😈 I post clips of my standup and more at Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.
😈 Check out my other newsletter “Funny How: Letters to a Young Comedian” for posts about the craft of standup. Recent posts feature insights from Louis CK, Colin Quinn, and Jerry Seinfeld.
😈 Trust me. No other standup special tackles reincarnation, the Velvet Underground, Evel Knievel, and psychedelics like this...
😈 I’ll be in Frederick, MD on Sunday (tickets) and all over NYC this week:
5-spotted
🗯 Esther Perel discusses her childhood among Holocaust survivors.
The community could be divided, roughly, into two groups, Ms. Perel said: those who talked about their experiences, and those who didn’t. And there were two kinds of talkers, “the people who emphasized the victimization, and the people who emphasized the heroism and the resilience,” she said. Her parents belonged to that last group.
“They didn’t just survive, and they didn’t just fight to live,” she said. “They were going to live life at its fullest. And in that sense, they experienced the erotic as an antidote to death.”
🗯
interviews Adam Aronovich, psychedelic facilitator.What I would really like to happen is a renaissance of the recreational, the non-medicalized, the non-psychologized use of psychedelics. You know, like things that for me were fundamental when I was growing up in my mid 20s in London and I was partying in squats. I hope we recognize the importance and centrality of the recreational, the communal, the joyful, the fun.
🗯 Nicole Austin of Cascade Hollow on being a woman who makes whiskey. Enjoyed this line about failure:
“Just because an idea didn’t pan out doesn’t mean that it’s a failure,” Ms. Austin said. “To me failure is making something that you’re not proud of.”
🗯
on what makes writing go viral.Counter to conventional wisdom, larger pieces have a better shot at being shared widely. A long essay connotes ambition, especially if it can actually deliver. Fewer people write long these days, so it can also stand out. The problem, of course, is that you can spend a lot of time trying to harness all that writing into a package that actually works.
🗯 Love when a cartoonist nails something that’d take me hundreds (thousands?) of words to explain:
Thanks for reading. Please tell a friend if you think this newsletter is word-of-mouth-worthy.
-Matt
P.S. We are living through a perfect storm of ego, technology, and capitalism. This too shall pass. In the meanwhile, the antidote is being in nature and/or gathering with others in a room to laugh, dance, sing, pray, or breathe together.
I was 100% on board with this until your frankly uncalled for disparaging of the air fryer. We're recent converts and, i mean, it's great, but as a mature person i am willing to engage in debate here. what seems to be the problem with the fryers de air?
I love the title "notemaster"--many thanks! And, your observations on Notes ring true to me. Right now it feels smart and manageable. But it could go downhill sooooo quickly!