An Unhealthy Number of Thoughts on Health

May 19, 2026

∙ Paid

I’ve got issues

The body keeps the score. And lately, it feels like mine is tanking to get a better draft pick.
I grind in my sleep which sounds kinky until you realize it’s my teeth.
I’ve done therapy and meditation for years which is proof therapy and meditation don’t really work that well.
I got into meditating at the right time. Now that the world is ending, I’m relatively cool with it. This too shall pass. Deep exhale.
I don’t know what my disorder is called but it’s the one where I keep 30 browser tabs open constantly, have thousands of unread email messages, and put hundreds of books on hold at the library despite reading only one per year.
We’ve disguised mental illness as moral superiority and it’s driving me crazy...which is why I’m better than everyone else.
Excited for my new self-help book. It’s called “Let Me.” I think it’s gonna help me do a lot of things.
Highly Sensitive Person? Congrats! I’m a highly insensitive person. Shouldn’t that be the disorder? A sensitive person feels a lot. That’s no biggie. I walk around aggravating folks constantly with my Temu Tourette’s until they go behind my back and whisper, “What the hell’s the deal with that jerk?”

Mental health

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. OK. When is Repress Your Feelings Month? That’s my time to shine.
Heard a woman say her child has “profound autism.” Profound, eh!? I was like, “I”ll be the judge of that. So far, I find your kid’s autism rather banal.”
I get Marc Andreesen’s point. Avoiding introspection is a great way to bypass shame which, in a system of predatory capitalism, is kind of a superpower.
The nice thing about hitting rock bottom is the clarity it gives you to change your ways. What’s truly dangerous is when your life is going juuuuust well enough that you decide to soldier on with the status quo.
Victimhood is currency now. And disorders are a way for rich white people to gain the sympathy and clout enjoyed by minority communities. It’s the cultural appropriation of marginalization. Ya gotta hand it to whitey…we somehow managed to even colonize trauma!
Someone told me you’re now supposed to say “person with autism,” not “autistic person.” And that makes sense to me, a person with poverty.
Life hack: If you never go to a clinic, you can never be clinically depressed.
“Neurodivergent” and “neurospicy” hit weirdly because that means not being disordered is “typical” and “bland.” Snoooooze.
We should have American Idol but for disorders. I know YOU think you have OCD, but let’s see what Simon and Randy think.

Body

Cul de sac sounds like it’s the French way to say herpes.
We’re so disconnected from our bodies that the most obvious advice now feels revelatory. Like, you could probably have a bestselling book that tells people to just go to sleep when they’re tired and eat only when they’re hungry. Call it “You Do You.” (Sign me up, Random House.)
10,000 steps a day people need to calm down. It’s 11:55pm and you’re off in the corner jogging in place tryna make your quota. That behavior is less healthy than it is terrifying.
I hate needles so much that I exercise.
All these little kids wearing noise canceling headphones is crazy to me. Was every child before 2000 just going deaf!?1
“BK. Have it your way. You rule!” is a wild thing to sing thousands of times at broke people you fool into consuming poison because they crave cheap calories. “Marks, you rule!”

Influencers

AI bros = deepfake
Wellness influencers = fake deep
I know two women who are astrology influencers. I call them the Woo Woo Dolls.
In an amazing comeback, vibes and astrology are now beating data and science. It’s like the ‘86 Mets of Dark Age thinking, except it’s psychics defeating physics.
Here’s my thing with Huberman podcast fans: How much health information do you need? Is there really 5+ hours of cutting edge science you require WEEKLY? If so, shouldn’t you be listening to your doctor instead of a podcast?
Related idea: Podcospitals. That’s right, a hospital just for podcasters and their fans. Put your body where your ears are! Let the surgeon walk into the room and say, “Technically, I’m not a doctor. However, I do my research and have watched a LOT of YouTube videos.”
Despite wildly divergent views, literally everyone thinks they got it right about COVID. We’re all living in bubbles that constantly tell us we’re the good/smart/right ones.
Peptide bros are the incels of wellness.
The more someone takes brain supplements, the more you can safely assume they’re a moron.
Online gurus: “I am an expert in the somatic arts, trauma-informed psychology, and anti-oppressive movements. I can teach you how to integrate personal healing with systemic social justice work via my workshop, Zoom course, or…LOOK, can you just Venmo me $59? My landlord is hounding me.”

Psychedelics

The natural enemy of psychedelics is connecting to the Bluetooth: “Somehow, everything in the universe is connected…except for my iPhone and this JBL speaker. That is impossible.”
Men need psychedelics to realize things that women know innately.
Integration of psychedelics is an ongoing battle against evaporation. The challenge is to hold onto what you learned in that moment of clarity, while realizing how much that’s like trying to capture a cloud.
Psychedelics weren’t made illegal because of bad trips. It was the good trips! Too many people realized how much our culture is built on a foundation of bullsh*t. And those in charge can’t tolerate that kinda awakening.
The opposite of a microdose is a heroic dose. So if you’re microdosing, you’re an anti-hero.
Ya know how the dryer works better once you clean out the lint trap? Well, same thing with psychedelics and your brain.
Psychedelics are for stoners who think they’re profound. (That was kinda deep, eh?) Speaking of…this is my special where I perform on various substances:

Up ahead: More musings on longevity, men, and women…

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