They’re literally using the Skynet font!?

The billionaires building the Pentagon’s AI future are getting a bit creepy about it. Also: Iran, JFK Jr., Bam Adebayo, etc.

Mar 12, 2026

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I know our tech overlords are trying to sell us on a sci-fi dystopian nightmare, but this one stopped me in my tracks…

Seriously? Because “Billionaire endorses flunkie to lead ‘military AI dominance’ for the Department of War while using font from the evil corporation in Terminator 2” feels a bit too on the nose.

Lemme break it down for you. The guy posting that is Marc Andreesen and, regardless of what he’s saying, the man has a point.

Andreessen is one of the tech bigwigs who paved the way for Silicon Valley to pivot to MAGA. See: ”Tech Billionaire Marc Andreessen Bet Big on Trump. It’s Paying Off for Silicon Valley” and ”Trump’s crypto reserve is a dream come true for his oligarch donors.”

Why/how? His firm, Andreessen Horowitz, put more than $7 billion in crypto funds. Then, in the run-up to the 2024 presidential election, the longtime Democrat shifted his allegiance to 🍊, donating more than $5 million to groups supporting his candidacy. And guess what? Ever since, Andreessen has seen his wish list come true: The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has been hollowed out, lawsuits dropped, settlements renegotiated, crypto regulation killed, and investigations halted. Andreessen may have had to sell his soul, but he got a great ROI.

But surely this Gavin Kliger guy he’s touting is qualified to be be at the center of the Pentagon’s AI mission, right? He’s probably experienced, ethical, and clear of corruption.

Haha. J/K. Experienced? The dude only graduated college in 2020. Ethical? He’s amplified white supremacist Nick Fuentes and creepoid Andrew Tate online. Clear of corruption? His work at DOGE was filled with conflicts of interest. The mass layoffs he led at CFPB included firing the same ethics lawyers who warned him against his financial conflicts of interest.

As a pimple-faced pup, he’s the perfect pawn. And Andreesen got his hooks in him early since pre-DOGE Kliger worked at Databricks, an AI/data company backed by Andreessen’s venture firm.

Also, he looks like a guy yelling at the barista for using oat instead of almond milk:

Btw, does that font and color scheme look familiar? Well, lookie here:

Skynet, of course, is the fictional, genocidal AI antagonist of the Terminator franchise, created by Cyberdyne Systems as a US defense network.

So yeah, can’t wait for this guy to help us achieve military AI dominance. I mean, what could go wrong? Superb selection. 🫡

(Paging John Connor, stat!)

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Iran (I couldn't get away)

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 They have zero plan for what happens next. This is why we need a female President. No woman I’ve dated would even let us go on vacation with this little planning, much less go to war. If we had a female President, there’d be a spreadsheet, a group chat, a detailed itinerary, and t-shirts that say, “Regime Change? I Thought You Said Rosé Change!”

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 I feel like we overindex on political/moral reasons for invasions and undersell military objectives. What is the mission? How will we know when it’s accomplished? What are the risks? How long will it take? What happens after? What is the exit strategy? And what is the plan if things go awry? There’s so much “This regime is terrible…” talk. No duh. But political platitudes are a luxury enjoyed by those who don’t actually go into battle. I wish the media talked to fewer politicians and more generals about all this.

@mattrubycomedy

Matt Ruby on Instagram: "I explained Iran to two Europeans in t…

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 “We’re bombmaxxing Iran and the ayatollah totally got mogged...”
-The White House social media account any day now, you just watch

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 Senator Tom Cotton said “Iran has been an imminent threat for 47 years.” Imminent for 47 years!? Reminds me of this line from Naked Gun: “Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.”

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 We’re so close to seeing a Department of War Peace Prize.

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 Worried about battling these mullahs. With those playoff beards, they look ready for a Game 7.

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 At least George W. gave us some foreplay before invading the Middle East. This time, they just grabbed us by the ayatollah.

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 Seeing this a lot: “Iranian people love the invasion so shut up.” Is there some kinda Polymarket bet I can make on that not being the case in two years? It’s easy to do the dance on Day 1. In general, we tend to do our victory laps at the starting line of the marathon (see: marriages, wars, presidential terms, etc.). Silly that.

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 Manufacturing jobs are down in America? Nah, someone’s out there manufacturing all this consent.

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 The Saudis and UAE have bribed the President way more than Israel. So please consider throwing some of that conspiratorial shade about who pulled us into this war their way too.

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 I once saw an IG story of my ex-gf going on a vacation I had been saying we should go on for years. I imagine this is how John Bolton feels watching the President drop bombs on Tehran.

Life stuff

🛟 Luck is right behind the door. You just don’t know which door. So you gotta spend a lifetime knocking.

🛟 The big problem with unwritten rules is they’re not important enough for anyone to ever write ‘em down.

🛟 Being on your phone makes you a tourist in your own reality.

Mean regime (more on Iran)

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 Me when you ask about Khomeini:

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 When the target is an 86 year old man, it feels less an assassination and more like just pulling the plug.

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 Many are suggesting the Shah’s son will take over. Really? “We’re just gonna pick up where we left off in 1979” is a helluva theory. It’s like believing Three’s Company would top the ratings today. Not sure that’s where the people are at now, y’know? (Though the Ayatollah and Mr. Furley did have similar views on gays.)

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 What does America say when trying to encourage a foreign uprising? “Don’t forget our sterling reputation for never betraying our allies and our unwavering, long-term support for those we encourage to rise up!”

🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱 The US promising Kurds (yet again!) that we’ll back them if they rise up: