The one thing everyone on social media agrees on
Finally, the left and right find common ground.
The one thing everyone on social media seems to agree on nowadays: hating the NY Times.
Why? It’s biased!
See, the Times has long been accused of having a liberal bias and being relentlessly anti-Trump. But now, according to progressives, the Times is directly “amplifying propaganda” from right-wing extremist activists and is ”easily gamed” by bad actors on the right.
How about what’s happening in Gaza? Palestinian supporters occupied the lobby of the Times, claiming its coverage was slanted toward Israel. Meanwhile, Israel supporters claim the Times blindly swallows Hamas propaganda (see: the since-corrected Times story claiming Israel was behind a Gaza hospital blast).
See also: trans stuff, vaxx stories, and whatever else people get all tribal about these days.
Over at Threads, Times-bashing seems to be the most popular topic du jour (unless that’s just what the Zuckorithm wants to push at me).
The crazy part is how everyone agrees the NY Times is biased, yet they can’t agree on which direction it leans. Seems like half the people think it's to the left…
…and the other half think it's to the right.
But wait a minute.
That leaves me thinking the paper’s probably doing a pretty good job. If both teams hate the refs equally, they're usually calling a fair game.
The question I have for all these Times bashers: Which publication out there is doing it better?
I’m not talking about spouting opinions, there’s obviously no shortage of that online (including right here). I’m talking about real reporting. Y’know, working a beat, making phone calls, knocking on doors, investigating corruption, conducting challenging interviews, attending hearings, etc. The kinda stuff they do in Spotlight, She Said, and All The President’s Men. Because that’s how those in power get checked. And a bunch of hecklers, hot takers, and Substackers ain’t gonna fill the void. (And even if they could, they won’t have the legal team to withstand the incoming lawsuit fire.)
“What about the BBC or The Guardian?” C’mon, they ain’t doing real journalism here in America. Maybe you agree with their opinion pieces/political slant. But we’ve gotta stop elevating “I agree with their takes” to the same level as “they are doing effective gumshoe reporting.”
Samir Husni, a longtime magazine analyst, says, “The thing now is to make everybody happy. But that was never the role of journalism, making people happy.” If the Times did everything its haters desire, the only people left reading it would be folks who 100% agree with each other – and we already have that EVERYWHERE ELSE ON THE INTERNET.
Say what you want about the Times, but it’s consumed across tribes instead of just serving as clickbait catnip for partisans. If that angers you so much, ask yourself: Do you really want fair-minded journalism or do you just want your ego stroked?
If no one’s doing it better, I guess that means it’s the best option we’ve got. Perfect? Of course not. But until there’s a better option…
In reality, the larger problem here is nearly every other newspaper that did real journalism has gone (or is going) out of business. That’s too much pressure for one publication to bear. One outlet can’t be everything to everybody. Instead of tearing down the Times, we should be figuring out how to sustain more publications like it.
And perhaps all this hate is a sign the Times listens to critics. After leaving the paper, former editor James Bennet argued the publication’s problem had metastasized from liberal bias to illiberal bias:
In an era when polarisation and social media viciously enforce rigid orthodoxies, the moral and intellectual courage to take the other side seriously and to report truths and ideas that your own side demonises for fear they will harm its cause.
One of the glories of embracing illiberalism is that, like Trump, you are always right about everything, and so you are justified in shouting disagreement down.
Maybe the Times listened to that and is doing its best to take all sides seriously. In an age where everyone thinks they’re the moral superheroes and therefore justified in silencing those who disagree, I’ll take the publication that’s trying to stake some sorta middle ground, even if that irks orthodox folks on the edges. Because if we all go into our isolated bubbles of confirmation bias permanently, it’ll be an even bigger threat to democracy than you know who.
Besides, I’m sick of our society being ruled by “the base” (on whichever side). The base is made up of extremists and wackos. I desire objectivity (or at least faux-objectivity) targeted at reasonable centrists. Gimme some of that ol’ fashioned Jon Stewart bothsidesism. At this point, I’ll take anything that’s not the inmates running the Send button.
Mitt Romney said this after the GOP walked away from that border deal:
“Politics used to be the art of the possible. Now it's the art of the impossible. Meaning, let's put forward proposals that can't possibly pass so we can say to our respective bases, look how I'm fighting for you.”
Facts.
Where I’m at nowadays: The more someone says f– the base, the more I’m listening. Because I don’t need a newspaper that’s fighting for me; I need one that’s fighting for the truth.
Also, the NYT Cooking app kicks ass and has the most hilarious comments on the Internet.
Subscription renewed.
Related: Why no one trusts the media anymore – and what to do about it
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Quickies
🎯 It’d be fun if there was a DMV but just for poetic licenses...
“Which line do I wait in?” “The one less traveled by.”
🎯 If going to the doctor is called a physical, then going to the therapist should be called an emotional.
🎯 At least you don’t have to wonder if someone is crazy anymore. Now they just open with their disorder(s) and pill regimen.
🎯 We need to bring back being an a**hole. Too much “he’s just neurodivergent” out here covering up a**holery. Until I see a doctor’s note, my diagnosis remains a**hole.
🎯 Marriage vows should be like NBA deals: Sign 'em to a 4-year max deal with an option for a fifth year and then both sides can renew if they want. Otherwise: Free agent.
🎯 Conceptually, I don’t understand onion rings. The onion is incidental. Like you could just fry anything that way and Americans would love it. And how do 10 onion slices end up two feet in height? The whole enterprise is absurd.
🎯 Idea: Let's get all these pro-lifers to staff suicide support hotlines. They think every life is so valuable, right? So let's get 'em some headsets, put 'em in a call center, and have 'em start saving folks already out here and breathing.
🎯 Y'know how Gen Z scoffs at Milennials for wearing skinny jeans? That's most of cancel culture. It's young people being mad at old people for not keeping up with how ideas have evolved. We've turned having been alive in 1990 into a thought crime.
🎯 Someone told me that a guy "transitioned" and now I don't know whether he died or became a woman so I'll send flowers 'cuz that works for both.
🎯 Found a bathroom that’s only for people who are currently transitioning:
🎯 False flag, psy op, and crisis actor are the right wing versions of colonizer, trauma, and intersectional. You always know what's about to come next.
🎯 “What’s New Relationship Energy?” ”Remember how much we loved Zelenskyy at first? And then time passed and we got tired of him always asking for stuff? THAT was New Relationship Energy.”
🎯 Owning a dog is perfect if you hate staying anywhere too long and need an evergreen excuse to exit.
🎯 The biggest thing underlying so many cultural issues: People don't die anymore. In 1900, the average life expectancy of a newborn was 32 years. By 2021, that more than doubled to 71 years. And that has made all the difference.
Tech’s a wreck
💾 I wish there was an AI that made people who talk about AI less goddamn boring.
💾 Scalability is a terrible metric if you care about quality yet it's the only thing the tech world seems to value. "Can it become huge?" is a way different question then "Can it be good?"
💾 How do I explain the internet? A:
💾 Saw a VC complaining about the word "enshittification" (i.e. the way that platforms decay) taking off. But words take off because they represent something people want to communicate. He might be wise to ask why so many people desire this term instead of condemning the person who noticed this reality.
💾 Gross. This makes me want to go back to Twitter:
💾 Every software product description is something like "software that better scales how people connect to build great companies" and no one knows wtf that means and then the founders wonder why their product failed.
💾 Tech companies are incentivized to frack our brain stems for every last drop of attention and the best way to do that is MAKE IT FEEL LIKE DRUGS: (via
)
Comedy
🃏 Had a good time in Colorado. Check this IG reel for proof…
Fun shows, hot springs, aprés ski things, rockies, rowdy crowds, sweet street art, brews’d egos, etc. if I did anything wrong, IT WAS THE ALTITUDE. I’ll be back in June doing shows in Denver (Denver Comedy Lounge on 6/14-15) and Boulder Comedy Show (6/16).
🃏 I post clips of my standup (and more) at Instagram, TikTok, Threads, and YouTube.
🃏 NYC: Catch my usual weekly shows at Comedy Cellar (HOT SOUP is every Tuesday at 10:30pm) and NY Comedy Club in East Village (GOOD EGGS is every Wednesday at 8pm).
Also, I’m headlining on Saturday (3/2) in Colchester, CT at Priam Vineyard (tickets).
May Euro dates coming soon! Stay tuned.
5-spotted
🗯️ Dr. Becky Kenney’s line you can say to anyone that opens a door for them to talk more: "I'm so glad you're talking to me about this."
“It is the most beautiful first line to say to someone when they’re upset because what you’re deeply saying to them and how they receive it is “I am interested in the part of you who’s feeling this way. The part of you who’s feeling this way is connectable to me. … I want to hear more about it. I will attach to this part of you.” And when you tell that to someone, they’re automatically willing to tell you more because it’s like an opening of a door."
🗯️ Order force: the old grammar rule we all obey without realizing it.
The rule is that multiple adjectives are always ranked accordingly: opinion, size, age, shape, colour, origin, material, purpose. Unlike many laws of grammar or syntax, this one is virtually inviolable, even in informal speech. You simply can’t say My Greek Fat Big Wedding, or leather walking brown boots. And yet until last week, I had no idea such a rule existed.
🗯️ What Happened to Baseball Jerseys?
Design and fabrication duties used to be shared by many different brands and producers; for much of professional-sports history, teams all chose their own jersey suppliers. But those duties have become more and more centralized in the past few decades, leading to a market where the aesthetic choices are controlled by a very small group of companies—Nike, Fanatics, a handful of other inescapable sports brands—that have dominion over nearly the entire market, no matter the sport. The result: A lot of things now look sort of bad, and also sort of the same.
🗯️ Jeffrey Sonnenfeld, a professor at Yale’s School of Management, on Harvard and the short shelf-life of brand equity.
“Despite near 400 years of history, the value of brand equity is nowhere near as permanent as Harvard trustees think it is,” he said in an interview. “There used to be a term in the industry of something being the Cadillac of the industry. Well, Cadillac itself is, you know, sadly not the Cadillac of the industry anymore.”
🗯️ You don’t have to do psychedelics in a sterile setting.
With the rise of people lying motionless on couches alone in sterile rooms (not that there's anything wrong with that), there is something beautiful about remembering that there are other options that might be more healing for us. Some of us need to sweat our prayers. We might do our best thinking and feeling when we're in motion. A little motion might not even do it. We might need to be dancing as hard as we freaking can. If we're sore the next day or exhausted, that's what it takes.
Thanks for reading.
If you enjoyed it, fwd it to a friend. It makes a big difference.
See ya.
-Matt
I remember the '60s: "Don't Trust Anyone Over 30"
🎯 Y'know how Gen Z scoffs at Milennials for wearing skinny jeans? That's most of cancel culture. It's young people being mad at old people for not keeping up with how ideas have evolved. We've turned having been alive in 1990 into a thought crime.
I think I'll just stick to the crossword 🤓