Is this what catastrophic success feels like?

On Davos, Greenland, Gaza, Minneapolis, and why bros sound so confused now.

It’s like Spoon sang: Everything hits at once.

As soon as Congress demanded the Epstein files, we…

• invaded Venezuela

• put the Gestapo in Minnesota

• threatened Greenland

• announced we’re gonna Dubaify Gaza

• told Canada (Canada!) – along with the rest of the world – to go to hell

Phew, just how bad do these files make him look!?

Let’s break it all down…

---

Davos

Board of Peace

Did ya see who’s on his so-called Board of Peace? Hint: France, Britain, Norway and Sweden all said, “Nah.”

Are we the baddies? A: Increasingly, yes.

While in Switzerland, 🍊 even mentioned we saved them from speaking German which is funny because 1) it’s a famously neutral country and 2) um, they do speak German.

Gaza

Meanwhile, nepo prince Jared Kushner unveiled his “master plan” for the future of Gaza.

Trés luxe/so many skyscrapers! But where will they put the unicorn stables? Anyway, can’t wait to vaca there right after I hit the Four Seasons Mogadishu and White Lotus Kabul.

Kushner: “In the Middle East, they build cities like this in three years. And so, stuff like this is very doable.” Yeah, it’s truly amazing how fast you can build things when you employ slave labor and don’t care about worker safety.

“Let’s plan for catastrophic success,” said Kushner, adding that there was no plan B. Um, catastrophic success? Maybe he got it from this book, though I feel like he forgot to read the subtitle...

Or maybe he just doesn’t know what catastrophic means:

cat·a·stroph·ic
/ˌkadəˈsträfik/
1) involving or causing sudden great damage or suffering.
2) extremely unfortunate or unsuccessful.

But hey, let’s not let common sense get in the way of a good grift…

---

Greenland

Why all this fuss about Greenland? A few options:

Option 1: Climate change

“We need to take over Greenland.”
“Why?”
“Due to climate change, it’s increasingly valuable.”
“But you don’t believe climate change is real.”
“Correct.”

Option 2: Ego

We’re threatening Greenland because Denmark didn’t give him the Nobel. And we’re invading Minnesota because the state didn’t vote for him. There’s no ideology involved. It’s simply the manifestation of dark triad narcissism.

Option 3: Daddy Vlad

Or maybe it’s [dons tin foil hat] something even darker. Because right now sure feels like Putin calling in his chips. “It’s time to pay up. Destroy NATO, Donnie.” Because this is all exactly what Vlad wants.

Eventually, this may all come down to a showdown between the administration and the US military. Fingers crossed there is some “Wise Generals” group chat where they spend 20% of the time hashing out a contingency plan and 80% roasting Pete Hegseth.

---

🔌 Support indie media by giving me money. I will most likely NOT use it to buy drugs. Also, you’ll get bonus stuff from me which normies can’t see so you’ll feel VIP.

---

Minnesota

ICE vs. the people

I am as impressed by the strength of the people of Minneapolis as I am saddened by the cowardice of the MAGA enablers who put us here.

The Gopher State even went full France and did a general strike (“No work, no school, no shopping, ICE out.”) Take note, rest of America – this is the way. It’s the only thing those at the top will clock. 🍊 will keep going until CEOs start ringing him up about lost profits or the market tanks.

Well, there’s one other way: Somalis need to start a cult, build a ranch in the middle of nowhere, and then stock it with a ton of ammo. Then all those militia types will totally make sure federal agents can’t get near ‘em.

Turns out Minneapolitans have more bravery than the administrators of elite universities, the partners at top law firms, and the VCs/execs who run the tech world combined. They are demonstrating the weight of collective action that comes from legit community as opposed to the sloptastic version the tech world keeps trying to foist upon us. People have the power.

---

↔️ Share this with one person who would dig it. Or spread it on social media. You’ll seem hip and be doing me a solid.

---

The lesbians strike back

By shooting Renee Good, ICE riled up the wrong group: midwestern lesbians. These women are not to be trifled with. ICE may have Humvees, AR-15s, and pepper spray. But midwestern lesbians have Subarus, softball bats, and even more pepper spray.

Speaking of lesbians…

More on Bari and CBS here: How Bari Weiss pushes propaganda to please the powerful.

Perhaps we just need to be nicer to ICE. After all, just a few months ago, a lot of ‘em were working at Foot Locker and playing pickleball. Now, with almost zero training, they gotta figure out constitutional law, how to keep a gaiter on your face while handcuffing a toddler, and the right way to pepper spray protestors who are being held down. It’s a lot.

Related: Turns out the masks weren’t so tough for ‘em to wear after all. (My .02: You can have a gun or wear a mask. But not both. See previous Rubesletter: Real cops should be furious about ICE.)

Creators or cretins?

Btw, I keep seeing pundits saying ICE agents are filming in order to “make content.” Nah. They’re likely using facial recognition tech to identify people and match them against government databases (entry/exit, DMV, etc.) and tag them as “domestic terrorists.” Ask your doctor if Orwellbutrin is right for you.

I keep thinking about that ICE goon who shot Renee Good saying “f*cking bitch” right after shooting her in the face and how that’s exactly what so many toxic bros say immediately after a woman shoots them down. It’s like, dude, you’re the one who shot HER down. Literally. You don’t get to play victim after making one.

---

Behind the paywall

More on agitators, frogs, manosphere bros, the UFC, and taking accountability below...