Come see me on my BIG IF TRUE tour (including European dates). Ticket info here.
NYC? I’ll be taping a special on April 21 at NY Comedy Club (promo code SHINEON) and this week I’ll be at Comedy Cellar for HOT SOUP (Tue 3/26), NY Comedy Club for GOOD EGGS (Wed 3/27 - promo code SCRAMBLED), and Gospel for MOOD BOARD (Fri 3/29 - promo code JOY20). Come through.
One-too-far-itis
I just read the hit piece du jour: ”Andrew Huberman’s Mechanisms of Control.” (Alt title: “Man Who Uses Microscope Winds Up Under One.”)
After reading it, I have a message to hit piece authors: Y’all really gotta focus. Please. Because I fear these sprawling “he’s an overall bad dude” articles – which juxtapose serious allegations alongside minuscule complaints – are hurting your agenda more than helping.
The problem is what I call one-too-far-itis…
one-too-far-itis - when a weak accusation undermines the entire credibility of a hit piece
(FYI: In comedy, there’s a similar notion called “putting a hat on a hat.” That’s when you keep adding stuff to a joke despite diminishing returns.)
“I prefer red”
Here’s an example of one-too-far-itis from that Aziz “it turned into the worst night of my life” piece on Babe.net…
After arriving at his apartment in Manhattan on Monday evening, they exchanged small talk and drank wine. “It was white,” she said. “I didn’t get to choose and I prefer red, but it was white wine.”
She prefers red to white and didn’t get to choose? Is that a crime now!? C’mon. Including that doesn’t make this woman seem like a victim, it makes her seem like a diva.
Perhaps the accusations against Louis C.K. would have generated more ire if the focus stayed on the charge of in-person workplace harassment. Instead, a phone-call-jerkoff received equal billing:
The call went on for several minutes, even though, Ms. Schachner said, “I definitely wasn’t encouraging it.” But she didn’t know how to end it, either. “You want to believe it’s not happening,” she said.
As Dave Chappelle famously pointed out: “One of these ladies was like, ‘Louis C.K. was m*sturbating while I was on the phone with him.’ B*tch, you don’t know how to hang up a phone? How the f*ck are you going to survive in show business if this is an actual obstacle to your dreams?”
That kinda thing makes it easy for people to dismiss the entirety of an article.
Throwing the kitchen sink
I get why it’s tempting for authors to kitchen sink it. But too often, this “throw it all in” approach dilutes a piece and provides chum for trolls and sycophants who wanna defend an alleged bad actor. And all that winds up fueling hatred of the media and the whole “enemy of the people” narrative.
That’s my biggest beef with this shaky approach to editing: It weakens the power of investigative journalism – and lord knows there are plenty of powerful people who need to be checked these days.
We should learn from the ineffective charges against Trump. When you accuse someone of everything under the sun, it becomes easier for that person (and their followers) to label it as personal vendetta. Better to choose what’s impeachment-worthy and let the rest go. Push the chips in on January 6th and shrug off the hush money to a p0rn star, y’know? One of those matters. The other just takes our collective eye off the ball.
It weakens the power of investigative journalism – and lord knows there are plenty of powerful people who need to be checked these days.
Back to Huberman
What’s in this Huberman piece? Here’s a fairly accurate summary:
Now, I don’t listen to Huberman (or even care about him really) so I don’t have a dog in this fight (well, besides, y’know, being part of the patriarchy). In fact, I’m all for a brighter spotlight on sketchy pseudoscience presented ultraconfidently on podcasts in order to sell Athletic Greens to incels.
(Tangent: I can't believe supplements are such an efficient way to monetize male insecurity. I’ve wasted my life trying to say things that matter when I shoulda just been hawking B-12 juice to baseball cap bros who wanna hear about dopaminergic neurons.)
For a Hubernewbie, the most surprising thing in the article is that his groundbreaking instructions include 1) spend time in the sun, 2) drink less, and 3) avoid toxic people. Um, no duh. I'm starting to realize a lot of these guru cravers really just need a Korean grandmother.
(Note: I don’t know why Korean. Just seemed right.)
I’m all for a brighter spotlight on sketchy pseudoscience presented ultraconfidently on podcasts in order to sell Athletic Greens to incels.
All over the road
I’m a fan of good journalism (and lately it feels like I’m the only person around defending it). I’m tired of online dudes complaining about the “agenda” of “the mainstream media.” But my worry is this story (and those like it) wind up fueling that blue check fire more than they damage the subjects of these pieces.
In this case, the article’s scattershot attack seems to lack a central thesis. In fact, the allegations are all over the road. Among his misdeeds…
😱 He failed to show up for a Thanksgiving dinner.
On Thanksgiving in 2018, Sarah planned to introduce Andrew to her parents and close friends. She was cooking. Andrew texted repeatedly to say he would be late, then later. According to a friend, “he was just, ‘Oh yeah, I’ll be there. Oh, I’m going to be running hours late.’ And then of course, all of these things were planned around his arrival and he just kept going, ‘Oh, I’m going to be late.’ And then it’s the end of the night and he’s like, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry this and this happened.’”
😱 In fact, he’s kinda flaky in general.
Huberman disappearing was something of a pattern. Friends, girlfriends, and colleagues describe him as hard to reach. The list of reasons for not showing up included a book, time-stamping the podcast, [his dog] Costello, wildfires, and a “meetings tunnel.”
😱 His feminist girlfriend started to feel domestic.
The relationship struck Sarah’s friends as odd. At one point, Sarah said, “I just want to be with my kids and cook for my man.” “I was like, Who says that?” says a close friend. “I mean, I’ve known her for 30 years. She’s a powerful, decisive, strong woman. We grew up in this very feminist community. That’s not a thing either of us would ever say.”
😱 He dotes on his dog too much.
When they were together, he was buzzing, anxious. “He’s like, ‘Oh, my dog needs his blanket this way.’ And I’m like, ‘Your dog is just laying there and super-cozy. Why are you being weird about the blanket?’”
😱 He would text nearly identical photos of himself to different women ON THE SAME DAY.
They found days in which he would text nearly identical pictures of himself to two of them at the same time.
😱 And he would use therapy lingo on women.
[Andrew’s therapeutic language] was communicating a commitment that was not real, a profound interest in the internality of women that was then used to manipulate them.
BREAKING: Man acts sensitive and interested in a woman’s “internality” in order to sleep with her.
Er, am I reading a hard-hitting piece of journalism or am I at brunch with Carrie and Miranda!?
Making the case
If this author was a prosecutor, I would advise her these gossipy tidbits aren’t helping get a conviction. In fact, they start to make the whole piece feel, well, slightly off.
I’m wary of victim blaming, but how are we supposed to feel about the woman who secretly checked text messages on his phone? That cool or nah?
How about her tracing the license plates of a pickup truck she spotted in his driveway? That’s, like, normal stuff?
And why continue a relationship with a man who tells you he prefers “the kind of relationship in which the woman was monogamous but the man was not” if that’s not okay with you? When someone tells you who they are in a relationship, believe them.
And then there’s the group text that Huberman’s exes (who are now BFFs) have formed which is presented as a silver lining of sorts…
Three of the women on the group text met up in New York in February, and the group has only grown closer. On any given day, one of the five can go into an appointment and come back to 100 texts. Someone shared a Reddit thread in which a commenter claimed Huberman had a “stable full a hoes,” and another responded, “I hope he thinks of us more like Care Bears,” at which point they assigned themselves Care Bear names. “Him: You’re the only girl I let come to my apartment,” read a meme someone shared; under it was a yellow lab looking extremely skeptical. They regularly use Andrew’s usual response to explicit photos (“Mmmmm”) to comment on pictures of one another’s pets. They are holding space for other women who might join.
Now I’m no therapist, but my first thought after reading this: 🚩🚩🚩😳😳😳.
Thousands of text messages a day? Because y’all dated the same dude? Sounds like the opposite of healing and moving on. To be fair, while it seems unhealthy, it does sound like a great premise to a new HBO series: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Protocols.
“You know if I were you I’d just look out for red flags.”
“Oh, okay. But what if I’m like a flag factory that only manufactures giant red flags?”
-Maria Bamford
Take one thing off
In this age of shrinking media, we need impactful investigative journalism with mindful editing. That means avoiding one-too-far-itis. If you wanna tell me a guy is a manipulative svengali, maybe leave out the part about how he likes putting a blanket on his dog, OK?
Go ahead, muckrake it up. But figure out the strongest charges and prosecute those. Leave out the meh stuff. Go quality over quantity. As Coco Chanel once said, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.”
Subscribe
Go ahead. Subscribe. Why? When I say I’m coming to Thanksgiving dinner, I show up. I’m that kinda guy. Also, I spend a lot of time on this and your subscription genuinely helps (and you’ll get bonus content too). Also helpful: Fwd this to a friend or share it online.
Quickies
🎯 Think about how much info dogs get from sniffing each other. Maybe that's why they never wanna take a bath: It takes away their entire personality.
🎯 Goths are people of no color.
🎯 In a red state, you can open carry your weapon. In a blue state, you can open carry your sexual preference.
🎯 Hate it when people say “can’t complain.” Telling a Jewish person you can’t complain is like telling a fish you can’t swim. How do you get through life!?
🎯 Remember Ken Bone? Of course not. That's 99% of election coverage...Ken Boners.
🎯 "How many [race/ethnic group] friends do you have?" is such a loaded question. Doesn't mean that person's racist...they could just be extremely unpopular.
🎯 I'm so bad with names. My hack: I always say pal, buddy, or chief when I'm not sure. So I’m like: "Yeah, whatever you need, Chief." And then she’s like: "Chief? We’ve been dating for three years." And I'm all: "You got it, buddy." Works like a charm!
🎯 Idea: Let’s start calling Republican women MAGAhags.
🎯 If Nikola Jokić is the Joker, I really hope we call this guy the Toker:
🎯 Can't believe the Chinese government is stealing my data so it can spy on me. It should be stealing my data so it can constantly show me ads for stuff I've already bought.
🎯 The future of government is to make it more like open source software. I only wish I knew enough about open source software to explain how that might work.
🎯 I kinda respect OnlyFans hustlers more than all these "coaches" who sell online "courses" – I mean, at least the people paying for feet pics are actually gonna use them.
🎯 Plans are so not Zen. Making plans is basically past you locking in future you at the expense of present you.
🎯 I hate the algorithm. And the feeling seems to be mutual.
Comedy
🃏 ICYMI: I’ve got some promo deals for my upcoming NYC shows. See below:
Tuesdays in NYC: HOT SOUP at Comedy Cellar (Tickets)
Wednesdays in NYC: GOOD EGGS at NY Comedy Club (Tickets) | promo code SCRAMBLED
Mar 29 - New York, NY - Mood Board @ Gospel (Tickets) | promo code JOY20
Apr 21 - New York, NY - NY Comedy Club | special taping (Tickets) | promo code SHINEON
🃏 More info and clips of my standup at Instagram, TikTok, Threads, and YouTube
🃏 My other newsletter is Funny How: Letters to a Young Comedian. It’s all about comedy craft – plenty of good stuff there for anyone doing anything creative really.
5-spotted
🗯️ Katherine Maclean, writer and research scientist, on the lack of humanity in the psychedelic renaissance.
Human. Real. These are sadly not the words I would use to describe some of the people leading the so-called psychedelic renaissance. In fact, I keep wondering how a field rooted in sacred experience and improving mental health could have so quickly lost its basic humanity. How is it so easy for venture capital frat boys to raise hundreds of millions dollars for products that don't even exist yet (like FDA-approved propietary synthetic psilocybin) and that most people won't even want or be able to afford, and yet so hard for many of my friends (especially women and BIPOC) to scrape by a simple living as humble healers, chaplains, teachers, caregivers and artists? It's almost as if psychedelics + money doesn't lead to happiness, but instead, to foolishness. Power corrupts, and psychedelic power corrupts... exponentially?
🗯️ Become 100 people’s favorite podcast. [Applies to making non-podcast stuff too.]
wonders why “the GOP has far more wackos than normal.”I forget who gave me this advice, but it was so important early on—and still is now: Instead of trying to make something a lot of people like, create something that 100 people love. It’s the same advice you hear when starting a company.
Why 100? It may feel like 100 listeners is absurdly small, but most podcasts can’t even do that. And it turns out that when you focus on a small number of people, you can do a great job at giving them exactly what they want. Once you have that foothold, people who love your podcast tell their friends, better guests say yes, you get better at podcasting, and you grow from there.
Why love? There are so many podcasts out there. If people don’t love your podcast, they’ll move on. You need to break into people’s podcast rotation, which often means bumping another podcast off their list. They’ll only do that if they love—and continue to love—your stuff.
In the ‘90s, the rise of cable news and AM radio empowered hard-right “movement conservatives” who took power during the Gingrich Revolution. Internet and social media accelerated this trend, and by the Obama years, the Republican base had become only minimally tethered to reality. GOP officials who saw what was happening repeatedly failed to stand up to the crazies because they feared a primary challenge and didn’t want to throw elections to Democrats. Trump capitalized on this hothouse atmosphere by embodying the id of the Republican base, and now he has the ability to excommunicate any Republican who doesn’t endorse his warped view of reality. And that facilitates loons because Trump is, himself, a loon.
Keenan Schneider on “Trim Silence” and the false god of efficiency.
’s quest for a healthier relationship with technology. One of his tips: “Celebrate rituals—both family and personal rituals, as well as larger communal rituals.”One of the more distressing qualities of humanity, in my mind, is the emphasis we collectively put on “efficiency.” It saturates our professional existence. It haunts our socioeconomic barometer. And it drives our current approach to both creating and appreciating art. It’s insidious, the inordinate amount of power “efficiency” holds over our daily lives, without even drawing much attention to itself, creeping up in unanticipated ways: the life hacks bombarding us on TikTok; the large language models we use to reduce the amount of effort we need to put into writing an email to our colleague; the Trim Silence feature on our podcast player of choice.
Rituals cannot be uploaded or downloaded. They are sources of joy and stability in everyday life. Instead of the ceaseless quest for novelty embedded in scrolling, ritual offers the deeper satisfaction of mindful repetition.
I believe Kierkegaard was correct when he claimed that we misunderstand repetition in the modern world. We fear that it leads to boredom. Yet the most powerful sources of happiness in our life will actually be the result of repetition—in family or vocational relationships, for example.
Ritual is how we cultivate this deepened type of repetition.
Thanks for reading. If ya dug this, please tell a friend, share on social, and/or get a paid subscription.
Appreciate it!
-Matt
Great stuff, man. Love the comment about plans. It might be a joke but it rings so true.