Let's stop talking about GOATs
Let's stop talking about GOATs
The term is basically meaningless now. || Also: Axes, vaping, fashion, mental health, candles, and crabs.
GOAT OD
Our society loves verbal inflation (i.e. overusing a term so much that it loses all its bite). The latest victim: the term “GOAT.”
For example, basketball player Dennis Schroeder recently referred to the US men’s Olympic hoops team as “all GOATS.”
The problem here: You can't say they're "all GOATs" because the term is supposed to indicate that ONE person is above all others. Greatest of all time, ya dig? (FYI, the correct answer: Michael Jordan.)
He’s not alone, though. Folks can’t stop getting the term GOAT twisted. It’s gone from literally meaning GREATEST OF ALL TIME to "someone I like a lot."
For example, here’s Jamal Crawford calling play-by-play broadcaster Kevin Harlan the GOAT.
Take that Al Michaels and Vin Scully.
Here is Brandon Miller calling Paul George the “GOAT of basketball.”
Um, Paul George isn’t even the greatest player on his own team, much less of all-time.
Our society loves verbal inflation (i.e. overusing a term so much that it loses all its bite).
It’s not just sports, either. Dave Chappelle referred to himself as “the GOAT” in a standup special. Sorry, Pryor/Carlin. But then he appeared onstage with Chris Rock and Kevin Hart as Hart gave an actual goat to Rock because, um, everyone is GOAT? 🐐🤔
Near the end of their joint Saturday show at New York City's Madison Square Garden — during which they were also joined by Dave Chappelle — Hart, 43, surprised Rock, 57, with a goat onstage, in a nod to Hart considering the latter the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time).
Kinda surprised Chappelle allowed this. Co-GOATs, I suppose.
Anyway, it turns out Rock’s new goat promptly took a dump all over the stage. Good to know it recognized that the way everyone talks about GOATs nowadays is a crock of 💩.
Jokes
🃏 Get jokes on my social media: Instagram – TikTok – Threads – X – Substack.
🃏 Watch my standup at YouTube.
🃏 Check out Funny How: Letters to a Young Comedian for standup comedy philosophy tidbits from Seinfeld, Ira Glass, Mulaney, and more.
🃏 Clip from recent podcast ep of Kind of a Lot with Matt Ruby:
Quickies
🎯 Speaking of goats, Jews actually invented the concept of the scapegoat. Really wish we could get a mulligan on that.
🎯 Hot take: I don't think Elaine danced that poorly on Seinfeld.
🎯 We still getting drunk and throwing axes or we finally done with that sh*t?
🎯 No grown man should vape. You’re an adult male. You shouldn’t be smelling like mango cucumber.
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🎯 "Type 2 Diabetes" is a bad name for a sequel. They shoulda called it "2 Sweet 2 Furious."
🎯 I think the fashion industry is just gay men trying to manipulate women as much as straight men do. It’s just instead of trying to trick women into bed, they try to trick them into wearing humongous pants.
🎯 Idea: A Marxist drag queen named Carla Marx and her catchphrase is "Patriarchy is the opiate of the masses."
🎯 Psst. I kinda agree with everything Joe Rogan says about Big Pharma...except I'm OK with vaccines and think the true harm is coming from how they've gotten a massive segment of society hooked on pills that mess with our brain chemistry. Sure, turn over your mind to Merck for a couple of decades. LMK how that works out for ya.
🎯 As an alternative to self-diagnosing mental illness and brandishing it as part of your identity, please consider learning how to play a musical instrument instead.
🎯 A fun thing about the Manhattan skyline is you can only truly appreciate it by leaving Manhattan.
🎯 So you're telling me there’s a piece on the chess board shaped 100% like a horse yet it's called the "knight." C'mon, that is KNIGHT PRIVILEGE.
🎯 Event RSVPs now:
- "Yes" means maybe.
- "Maybe" means no.
- "No" means "I hate you"
🎯 Learned the hard way: When she asks for a scented candle, this is NOT what she wants.
🎯 Everyone in Seattle dresses like they might have to go on an emergency hike at any moment.
🎯 I got crabs…
If ya dig it, share it! Word of mouth is how this thing spreads. Appreciate it.
They say I got brains but they ain't doin' me no good,
Matt
P.S. My podcast is full of evergreen listening goodies and each ep is just 15-30mins long (refreshing, eh?)…